I have been asked this a couple times so I figured it worthy of a post. The question being, should you give a past girlfriend/boyfriend a second chance? That in my opinion is probably the most difficult relationship type question to be asked. The thing I always point out to and the thing I think people most typically ignore is the bad times. Sure when you’re thinking about getting back together with an ex you remember all of the good times. The fun, the parties, the dates, the sex. All the important things like why you broke up in the first place cease to exist. You tend to forget about the fights, the drama, the things that bothered you and caused the break up in the first place.
But don’t take my opinion for it. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Seriously though, think about it logically. When you look back in your past I would argue that you remember 95% of the good stuff and only 5% of the bad stuff. I mean I can speak honestly and say for the most part, I definitely block out the bad shit that happens. And I don’t even mean that exclusively in a dating sense. Seldom does someone want to look back and think about the shit that was bad. I mean why would you? That doesn’t make much sense. Memories are meant to be positive and so you remember the good times, not the bad.
Now with all that being said, odds are you’re going to get back together with that person. And why is that? Comfort. You grew so accustomed to what life was like with that person that you didn’t give yourself much time to fully adjust to life with out them. That’s the problem. If you’re never truly over the person and don’t give yourself a chance to move on, how could you possibly ever envision your life with out them? Odds are you won’t. Or just choose not to.
I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong answer here. Sometimes time is really all you need to figure out what you want with each other and realize that you belong together. And I hope that ends up happening to every couple who gets back together. But sometimes things stay status quo and unfortunately you’re right back where you were originally except you’re sad again, and it’s another 6 months to a year later. Look at the end of the day you have to live your life the way you want it. Ignore what people tell you and trust your gut and ultimately go with your heart.
Things happen for a reason and sometimes you just have to do what’s right for you. Feel free to make mistakes. Life is all about mistakes, getting over them and learning from them. If you can’t do that you’re doomed for a life of misery. I don’t mean that literally but seriously, you have to learn from your mistakes. If you don’t figure out what makes you happy, then you will find it extremely difficult to be so. I say no matter what you should always trust yourself and trust your heart. Go for things that you know in the end may not work out because in the moment it feels right. At the end of the day better to live a life regret free then full of regrets!