All posts tagged chemistry

Thankful

There’s always that lengthy duration of sadness, regret, and fear when a relationship ends. You look back at the time spent and wonder what you could have done differently. Was there anything more you could do? Was she the one? Was your inability to adapt the driving wedge? You take an extra hard look at what has transpired over the course of the relationship and ultimately you’re just left with more questions than answers. At the end of the day for me, I’m left with sadness because I just lost someone I obviously cared deeply about but more so I’m left with an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness.

I know that thankfulness would be an odd feeling to have once a relationship is over. Especially depending upon how badly things ended. But for me, at least this time around, I’m thankful. Why you might ask? This girl, amongst all the many women in my life fundamentally changed who I am and how I act. Truthfully I waited my whole life to meet her. I waited this long to absolutely head over heels fall in love with someone and I’m glad that I had it and I’m even more glad of who I had it with. It’s a special thing love. It really is. It’s not something that you can force and it’s not something you can plan but sometimes you just end up stumbling into something great even if it doesn’t work out.

For me, I’m going to really take a moment and look back at the awesome times we had. The first kiss, the first dinner, date, everything. I’m going to look back at all of that with such fond memories that even if I’m not in the greatest of places today, tomorrow I know I’m going to be glad I shared them. You don’t plan on breaking up with someone when you get together. You don’t plan on things not working out and perhaps that’s why it’s so hard to let someone go. All you do is see the good times the great moments you shared. That’s why breaking up is hard to do. But as a relationship wears on I think you realize more and more whether this is a person you can spend the rest of your life with or not. And for me, I’m not entirely sure I got the opportunity to answer that question but the seperation will inevitably be the thing that makes me realize for better or for worse, what we had was special.

I don’t pretend to have the answers. In actuality I probably have none. I only own my life experiences and ups and downs and the feelings that are associated with them. For the time being I’m going to appreciate that I’m sad. I’m going to accept that I’m upset because you know what? All that really means is that what we shared was real. That what we had meant something. I’d rather feel like shit any day of the week to know that the time I spent with someone wasn’t for nothing. As funny as it sounds, I’m thankful for this broken heart, I’m thankful for this feeling of shit because I know deep down that she’s changed me. And I’m better off for it.

For a while there I thought it’d be unlikely I fall in love. For a while I honestly felt as if I was going to be a single bachelor my whole life and you know the truth of the matter is I didn’t necessarily mind that. I was worried that I lacked the fundamental capabilities to love someone. And now I know that’s not the case. Now I know that I can fight for love and I can appreciate love and I can care for someone deeper than I ever imagined possible. That I would be willing to put someone else first. That I’d for once in my life stop being the selfish prick that I am and truly and genuinely with all my heart love someone. That’s a powerful gift I was given and something I will never take for granted again.

Unfortunately, not everything in life works out. And unfortunately not everyone is meant to be with you forever. And that’s ok. Things happen for a reason in life and at the conclusion of each day you have to just smile and be thankful for the days you’ve lived and the days to come. I don’t believe in mistakes. I don’t believe in regrets and for me I’m happy as hell that I met this person. I’m incredibly blessed to have shared the time I have with her because I’m a better person for having met her. So I took my licks, and I took my bruises but now I can smile and look back fondly on the time we spent together. I can live without a regret and know that the pain I’m feeling now is because of the love we shared.

Breakups suck. Losing someone from your life is difficult and it’s absolutely never going to get easier. Take your time to feel bad and take your time to feel sorry but don’t find yourself lost in a funk. Allow yourself the time you think you need to grieve and then it’s time to stand up again. Life is too short to be anything but happy everyday. Life is about falling down and willing yourself to get back up and the fight off the ground is what makes life special. It’s not about the amount of times we get knocked down but the amount of times we get back up. Life is an incredibly precarious, gentle, fragile thing and you should never take it for granted. Be thankful for the time you have with someone in your life because tomorrow there are no guarantees.

Leave a Comment
by datingsagame on February 3, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Love, Relationships, Sex, Women
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on February 3, 2013

http://datingsagame.com/2013/02/03/thankful/

Love

Lately I’ve been asking myself a pretty basic question. What is love? Seems basic enough. But I had so many other thoughts and feelings that crept into my mind about it. Is love having everything in common with someone? Is it being a complete opposite and complimenting each other? Or could it just be that you’d rather spend every waking moment with a person rather than without them? I suspect it’s partly all of them, partly none of them. It’s one of those seriously fucked up things in life that’s meant to constantly keep people awake at night.

I’m not saying that in a bad way. I do not mean to say that love is a bad thing. Quite the contrary. Love is an extraordinary thing capable of making people to truly remarkable things. But none of that really points to the answering the question that I find asking myself. What is love?  I’d love to know what you think. Love to know what everybody thinks about what that word means to them. Because I have a sneaky suspicion that if you asked 100 people, you’d receive 100 different answers about love is. I’m no expert. But to me love boils down to a few, very specific, very important elements.

Love to me is simple. It’s that feeling. That feeling of unease that creeps into your mind, your body, your soul when you think about a person. That’s not to say it’s a negative feeling. It’s just that feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on it. When you think about the person you can’t quite trace what it is about them that has you so mesmerized. Love is trust. Love is being able to know that the person you love has your back. That even when the worst possible things happen in your life, that they’ll be there for you. Love is chemistry. Love is sex. Love is being with someone who you couldn’t live with out. And ultimately love is about figuring out that even when you think you have it, you really might not.

Love to me is a complex and amazing thing. I can honestly tell you that when you meet the right person everything will not magically fall right into place. Listen, life isn’t a fairy tale. You can absolutely fall in love with a person and everything can come crashing down around you. I’m not saying that. I’m saying that when you really meet the right person. The person that is your soul mate, your whatever you want to call it, that things will eventually fall into place. It likely won’t be easy. It likely won’t be all sunshines and rainbows but at some point it will all come together. Fate, and life, and love, have a funny way of creeping up on you and changing everything it is you thought you knew about yourself. And at the end of the day, you’ll be glad.

Leave a Comment
by datingsagame on April 16, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Cheating, Chemistry, Dating, Emotions, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Life, Relationships, Sex
Tagged , , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on April 16, 2012

http://datingsagame.com/2012/04/16/love/

Unexpectedly, Expected

I just realized that I have no relationships what so ever with any girl I’ve ever seriously, or casually dated. What do you think that says about me? Once in a while you’ll meet a girl that has you second guessing everything about yourself when you meet her. She changes it all. But it seems like whenever you meet those game changers things never last too long. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together and yet almost simultaneously pulling them apart. Who you are as a person, is it something that’s predetermined when you’re born, or rather who you become over time? Who you become, and what you do with your life, is this something you can control? Or rather something that fate has just cruelly twisted together to make you continually second guessing yourself each step of the way?

Sometimes I find myself unable to imagine myself not being alone. That’s not to say that it’s what I want or would ever remotely want. But it’s something that can keep a guy up at night. You want to be the guy who gets the girl. The guy who meets a girl, falls madly in love and everything just clicks into place. Unfortunately that’s rare. I want to be the guy that gets the girl. Who wouldn’t? Sometimes you think you’ve found her and you have her and it just ends up that you’re only going to for a short while. Honestly, whatever happened to being HONEST. To telling someone exactly, how you feel, being completely up front and real. What happened to that? Why is it so much about playing games and all the incessant nonsense bullshit that goes along with it?

In life, fate only takes you so far, the rest my dear friends, is up to you. A lot of things in life boil down to chemistry and timing. It’s an easy cop out to say that everything happens for a reason even when I actually truly believe that. But in all honesty, it’s a scape goat. We say that to make ourselves feel better the day after we get dumped. Or after someone we know dies in a car accident. The simple fact of the matter is that life is messy, and not all people get a happy ending. Sometimes you can have your cake, you just don’t get to eat it. Sometimes fate plays tricks on you and gives you a glimmer of hope only to yank it away seconds later. I believe it’s possible in an instant to know you can’t spend your life without someone. But why so often are those same feelings not necessarily reciprocated?

Truthfully, dating is hard. Love is hard. Life IS hard. It’s hard on it’s own, you don’t need to be adding to it by trying to force things that aren’t there. When something is truly meant to be….It. Will. Be. Round pegs, don’t fit in square holes no matter how hard we force them in. A lot of times for me, it’s not whether I’ll meet the right girl or not, but rather if it’ll be the right time for both of us. Timing is everything in life. Seconds turn into minutes, that turn into hours, that turn into days. But when you really take a look at it, a minute here and there could be life altering for one person or any person for that matter.

So what am I trying to say here? Tough for me to decipher amongst these incessant ramblings. But I guess life is really tough. You get a lot of ups and you get a lot of downs. But when it comes down to it, trust yourself. Trust who you are as a person and what you want out of your life. If you get butterflies the first time you meet a guy then ask him out. If you kiss a girl and you feel a spark make sure you don’t let her get away. If you get the opportunity to kiss a beautiful girl, go for it. Life is short, you really don’t know how many chances you are going to have to make memories.

What I really think life is about is love. Love for your family. Love for your friends. And love for the people around you. It’s about finding love and keeping it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be lucky in love, but when you find something that feels right hold on to it. I will readily admit to letting good things in life pass me by. I will readily admit to being afraid to speak up and afraid to go for what I want. Those amount to some massive regrets in my life. But I’ve gotten so much better at that now. I’m no longer afraid to voice my feelings or opinions on what I want and what matters to me. And neither should you.

Life is what you make of it. Love is what you make of it. If you meet someone you can’t be with out, tell them that. It may hurt to be rejected but it will hurt a lot more to second guess yourself for 40-50 years. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Go for what you want for fucks sake! Nobody is going to give you anything in life. You have to earn it. If that means getting rejected fine, so what? If that means getting hurt, hey nobody said this was going to be easy. But at the end of the day, you want to be able to say I fucking went for it each and every day of my life and I am proud on how I lived.

Leave a Comment
by datingsagame on February 21, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Confidence, Dating, Death, Emotions, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Karma, Life, Love, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Uncategorized, Women
Tagged , , , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on February 21, 2012

http://datingsagame.com/2012/02/21/unexpectedly-expected/

Falling Hard and Falling Fast:

Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think there has to be that initial spark, or “it” factor when meeting someone for the first time? I certainly think there needs to be some sort of an instantaneous spark, or connection for me to feel like oh shit, this is someone I need to spend more time with. I totally believe in fate, things happen for a reason and people come in and out of your life for a reason. But I also believe it’s up to you to make sure you take advantage of these particular moments.

So what happens when you meet someone and you have all these feelings, and things just click? Do you tell the person you’re like super into them? No. Do you mention that you guys should go out very soon? No. Do you let them know that you had this awe inspiring moment where things seemed to click for you? Fuck no. So what are you supposed to do you might ask? Simple. First, play it cool. You can’t play on that you have felt this spark because you could very easily scare this person you just met away. Remember a relationship that goes from 0-60 goes from 60-0 just as quickly.

Personally, I feel falling hard and falling fast for someone is a sin. Hear me out. The quicker I fall for someone, the quicker it fizzles out. It’s a tale as old as time. The longer it takes me to fall for someone, the longer our relationship lasts. It’s sad almost. I’d love it for a once if I meet a girl for us to just hit it off and continue on for longer than a month. One night stands are another story. But I just mean when you meet someone have that instant sexual chemistry and attraction, you wish it’d last a bit longer than it usually does.

Falling hard is rough. I feel that if you’re the one that falls first, and it’s hard. You’re almost certainly the one that’s going to end up with the broken heart. At the end of the day we all long for love at first sight. We all hope it exists, because without it, life seems a bit sadder than it should be. Fate plays funny tricks on you. You think you’re supposed to be with person X when you usually end up with person Y. Chemistry, sexual attraction, sparks, whatever you want to call it all play into something you think is true love or love at first sight. At the end of the day, just go with it. Life’s short so you might as well be spontaneous and just go with the flow. Carpe Diem bitches!

Leave a Comment
by datingsagame on May 27, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Dating, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Love, Relationships, Sex, Women
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on May 27, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/05/27/falling-hard-and-falling-fast/

Secrets, Lies, and Betrayals:

Have you ever cheated on someone? Been cheated on? Do you find it hard to trust people, or your significant other? Do you think you’re the only one out there that has these issues? Well don’t because you’re not. Thousands if not millions of people have been cheated on, and while granted in your particular case I’m sure it was the end of the world but you have to do your best to get over it. Trusting is a key trait to a healthy relationship. It’s difficult to envision any type of relationship that works well with the drama that has to do with a lack of trust. Trust me. I know.

So while I’m sure it’s tempting to check his Facebook page, or his cell phone, email accounts, Ipad or whatever other electronic cheating device you may have handy. Don’t. Have a little faith. An invasion of your significant others privacy without warrant is going to lead you down a very bad road. Not only does it show you have little faith in them, it also shows you’re some what psycho. I mean really, who wants to have their bf/gf go through their shit? Shouldn’t you trust me?

Now, granted you’re not going to listen to me and you’re going to pillege the shit out of their cheatologies (cheating technologies). And when you do, what’s going to happen when you find something you don’t like? Say you find out he’s been messaging another girl on Facebook. Or there’s some scandalous text messages from an ex gf or bf. At this point now you’re in worse shit then you started in. First it started with you admitting, at least to yourself, that you can’t trust your significant other. Now you’ve actually uncovered something you didn’t know exisited, but suspected it did. What in the fuck do you do at this point? Do you confront them? Do you tell them I found X,Y, or Z while going through your shit?

Granted, at this point you’re fucked one way or the other. You’ve just found out that unfortunately your suspicions were accurate and what’s more unfortunate is now you have to confront them about it because at this point you have to. You crossed a line and now you have to pay the consequences. Besides, do you want to be with someone who’s being shady behind your back? I know I don’t. So this leads down a relatively rocky road that leads to either you breaking up or having one hell of a massive blow out. And for what? Because you don’t have self restraint, or trust. There’s just no winning situation here. Do yourself a favor and trust the person you’re with. And if they’ve given you a reason not to, you either have to put up or shut up. Accept that there’s something going on and do nothing about it. Or pack your shit and bounce. The choice is yours. And there’s nobody who can tell you what is right or wrong to do at this point.

1 Comment
by datingsagame on May 25, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Cheating, Dating, Emotions, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Karma, Love, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized, Women
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on May 25, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/05/25/secrets-lies-and-betrayals/

Oral Sex: Men Please and Women _____________

I’m not going to say women tease because there is a significant portion of women out there who undoubtedly love giving head. I will however say, men are willing to go down anytime, anywhere. Without hesitation it is my feeling that men are looking to please and make their women feel good. I’m not suggesting that all women are adverse to the oral givings to their men but I am suggesting the following for women.

1. You enjoy giving and not receiving

2. You enjoy just receiving and not giving

3. Then there’s a small minority who doesn’t like giving or receiving

It amazes me how often it’s really only these three options with women. It’s like for one reason or another they love giving and they want to make their men feel good. But it does make a bit of an interesting aspect to look at. Why is it that some women are so against receiving?  Is it a comfort level? Is it an inability to allow yourself to let go? Is it insecurity? It might be all of those things, it might be none of those things. Oral sex is absolutely a very intimate act and I understand women’s hesitation on both parts, but it is a very important aspect to maintaining a healthy sex life.

So for a recap, why are women afraid to go down? Or afraid to accept the going down? Is it a straight line of insecurity? Is it a fear of how it will taste? Or if he will judge her down there? I mean it’s all of those things. Both men and women need to be more open to exploring the finer arts of oral conalingus. The simple fact of the matter is that neither men or women are 100% comfortable with their own bodies but when you’re with someone you should be comfortable enough with them to let yourself go. Allow your inhibitions and insecurities to leave. Go have some fun. :-) ~

5 Comments
by datingsagame on May 19, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized, Women
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on May 19, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/05/19/oral-sex-men-please-and-women-_____________/

Your relationship and if it has “it”:

You’ve heard me mention the word “it” before, and it mostly having to do with an individual and their confidence, aura, or general awesomeness. The way I’m using the word now, is to address whether your relationship has “it”, not in an individualistic sense. Allow me to clarify, when I say whether your relationship has “it” or not, I mean to say whether there is that unspeakable quality about what the two of you have with each other that is basically inexpressible. It’s something you both feel is there and it goes far beyond your sexual chemistry, the love you have for each other, or even the things you have in common.

When I say “it” in the terms of a relationship I often mean the chemistry that your lives just have together. It’s hard for me to explain. I’ll describe it as what the thing is that keeps you all together no matter what the issues you face together as a couple. “It” will transcend distance, eliminate problems, foster an ever growing sex drive, and above all else, keep the love going. “It” is a crazy thing. It’s hard for me to really put it into words unless you’ve found the right person for you. “It’s” something that’s difficult to explain in that “It” doesn’t really have a true meaning. “It” is whatever you make it.

“It” boils down to the single thing that has you with the person you’re with. The one thing I can’t stress enough is that “It” has little or nothing to do with sexual attraction. Every relationship starts with an initial level of sexual attraction and at times in a relationship it will come and go. When you’re with the right person and you just know down in your core this is the person you’re supposed to be with, “It” is the thing that you can’t describe about your significant other. When your friends ask you why you love them, or what it is about them you often find yourself at a loss for words about what it is about them that you do love.

“It’s” certainly a crazy thing in life. “It” can develop over time or could be something you develop initially when meeting someone. That’s the exciting thing about “it” you just never know when it’s going to happen, or who you’ll have it with. “It” is what separates an ordinary relationship with something special. The people in relationships right now reading this post know exactly what I’m talking about. They know that “It” is the one thing that you can’t quite describe, but without, their relationships wouldn’t be working. So as I’ve said a million times people, don’t settle for average, strive for extraordinary. When you find “it”, or the thing that you can’t describe with a person you are with, hold onto them. I promise when you feel “it”, you’ll know.

Leave a Comment
by datingsagame on January 7, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Dating, Emotions, Love, Relationships
Tagged , ,

Posted by datingsagame on January 7, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/01/07/chapter-ninety-six/

Special:

You ever lay in bed late at night and get this feeling like you’re important? Or that you’re just meant for something more? Ever meet someone in passing or spoken with someone once or twice and felt like they would have this profound impact in your life? I’ve felt that before. All of it. It’s a difficult thing to articulate and an even harder thing to explain without sounding like an egomaniac or a crazy person. What is it about these feelings that allow one person to feel something, and another to not?

I’ve met girls, nobody in particular that I always felt like if it weren’t for x,y, or z things could be magic between us. That, if she noticed something about me that she previously missed, or if I realized she’s more special than I previously thought, there could be something. It’s weird. It’s hard to explain. I always wondered what it is in life that helps you recognize your soulmate. Or not even soulmate but people in your life who are meant to be greatly important.

I’ve met a couple people in my life that I felt for one reason or another they were important. For one reason or another something inside me just felt like I needed to spend more time with them, get to know them better, or just be around them more. Maybe they’d provoke me, make me think about myself and get me to see who I am as a person better. Perhaps they could be someone I’d one day end up with, or maybe just a life long friend. Have you ever felt that? Have you ever felt a deep, underlying connection with a person? Something that went beyond physical attraction. Something that went past daily interactions?

I’m not sure. I know this one person in my life who I feel like has this vast potential to be great in anything he/she does, but they just don’t recognize it. They always get angry at me when I try to point out how amazing they are or how special I think they are. They always just circumvent everything I say and insist they are just nobody. That’s sad. What is it that gives me or anybody the ability to recognize someone else’s specialness and you have the inability not to? Life has a funny way of putting people together and bringing people together. Sometimes you have to take someone’s word for it to realize. Take a leap of faith, you never know what could happen.

Leave a Comment
by datingsagame on November 24, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Emotions, Fate, Image
Tagged , , , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on November 24, 2010

http://datingsagame.com/2010/11/24/chapter-eighty-eight/

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 18 other followers

  • Archives

  • Facebook

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.