All posts tagged confidence

Unexpectedly, Expected

I just realized that I have no relationships what so ever with any girl I’ve ever seriously, or casually dated. What do you think that says about me? Once in a while you’ll meet a girl that has you second guessing everything about yourself when you meet her. She changes it all. But it seems like whenever you meet those game changers things never last too long. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together and yet almost simultaneously pulling them apart. Who you are as a person, is it something that’s predetermined when you’re born, or rather who you become over time? Who you become, and what you do with your life, is this something you can control? Or rather something that fate has just cruelly twisted together to make you continually second guessing yourself each step of the way?

Sometimes I find myself unable to imagine myself not being alone. That’s not to say that it’s what I want or would ever remotely want. But it’s something that can keep a guy up at night. You want to be the guy who gets the girl. The guy who meets a girl, falls madly in love and everything just clicks into place. Unfortunately that’s rare. I want to be the guy that gets the girl. Who wouldn’t? Sometimes you think you’ve found her and you have her and it just ends up that you’re only going to for a short while. Honestly, whatever happened to being HONEST. To telling someone exactly, how you feel, being completely up front and real. What happened to that? Why is it so much about playing games and all the incessant nonsense bullshit that goes along with it?

In life, fate only takes you so far, the rest my dear friends, is up to you. A lot of things in life boil down to chemistry and timing. It’s an easy cop out to say that everything happens for a reason even when I actually truly believe that. But in all honesty, it’s a scape goat. We say that to make ourselves feel better the day after we get dumped. Or after someone we know dies in a car accident. The simple fact of the matter is that life is messy, and not all people get a happy ending. Sometimes you can have your cake, you just don’t get to eat it. Sometimes fate plays tricks on you and gives you a glimmer of hope only to yank it away seconds later. I believe it’s possible in an instant to know you can’t spend your life without someone. But why so often are those same feelings not necessarily reciprocated?

Truthfully, dating is hard. Love is hard. Life IS hard. It’s hard on it’s own, you don’t need to be adding to it by trying to force things that aren’t there. When something is truly meant to be….It. Will. Be. Round pegs, don’t fit in square holes no matter how hard we force them in. A lot of times for me, it’s not whether I’ll meet the right girl or not, but rather if it’ll be the right time for both of us. Timing is everything in life. Seconds turn into minutes, that turn into hours, that turn into days. But when you really take a look at it, a minute here and there could be life altering for one person or any person for that matter.

So what am I trying to say here? Tough for me to decipher amongst these incessant ramblings. But I guess life is really tough. You get a lot of ups and you get a lot of downs. But when it comes down to it, trust yourself. Trust who you are as a person and what you want out of your life. If you get butterflies the first time you meet a guy then ask him out. If you kiss a girl and you feel a spark make sure you don’t let her get away. If you get the opportunity to kiss a beautiful girl, go for it. Life is short, you really don’t know how many chances you are going to have to make memories.

What I really think life is about is love. Love for your family. Love for your friends. And love for the people around you. It’s about finding love and keeping it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be lucky in love, but when you find something that feels right hold on to it. I will readily admit to letting good things in life pass me by. I will readily admit to being afraid to speak up and afraid to go for what I want. Those amount to some massive regrets in my life. But I’ve gotten so much better at that now. I’m no longer afraid to voice my feelings or opinions on what I want and what matters to me. And neither should you.

Life is what you make of it. Love is what you make of it. If you meet someone you can’t be with out, tell them that. It may hurt to be rejected but it will hurt a lot more to second guess yourself for 40-50 years. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Go for what you want for fucks sake! Nobody is going to give you anything in life. You have to earn it. If that means getting rejected fine, so what? If that means getting hurt, hey nobody said this was going to be easy. But at the end of the day, you want to be able to say I fucking went for it each and every day of my life and I am proud on how I lived.

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by datingsagame on February 21, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Confidence, Dating, Death, Emotions, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Karma, Life, Love, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Uncategorized, Women
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Posted by datingsagame on February 21, 2012

http://datingsagame.com/2012/02/21/unexpectedly-expected/

Falling Hard and Falling Fast:

Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think there has to be that initial spark, or “it” factor when meeting someone for the first time? I certainly think there needs to be some sort of an instantaneous spark, or connection for me to feel like oh shit, this is someone I need to spend more time with. I totally believe in fate, things happen for a reason and people come in and out of your life for a reason. But I also believe it’s up to you to make sure you take advantage of these particular moments.

So what happens when you meet someone and you have all these feelings, and things just click? Do you tell the person you’re like super into them? No. Do you mention that you guys should go out very soon? No. Do you let them know that you had this awe inspiring moment where things seemed to click for you? Fuck no. So what are you supposed to do you might ask? Simple. First, play it cool. You can’t play on that you have felt this spark because you could very easily scare this person you just met away. Remember a relationship that goes from 0-60 goes from 60-0 just as quickly.

Personally, I feel falling hard and falling fast for someone is a sin. Hear me out. The quicker I fall for someone, the quicker it fizzles out. It’s a tale as old as time. The longer it takes me to fall for someone, the longer our relationship lasts. It’s sad almost. I’d love it for a once if I meet a girl for us to just hit it off and continue on for longer than a month. One night stands are another story. But I just mean when you meet someone have that instant sexual chemistry and attraction, you wish it’d last a bit longer than it usually does.

Falling hard is rough. I feel that if you’re the one that falls first, and it’s hard. You’re almost certainly the one that’s going to end up with the broken heart. At the end of the day we all long for love at first sight. We all hope it exists, because without it, life seems a bit sadder than it should be. Fate plays funny tricks on you. You think you’re supposed to be with person X when you usually end up with person Y. Chemistry, sexual attraction, sparks, whatever you want to call it all play into something you think is true love or love at first sight. At the end of the day, just go with it. Life’s short so you might as well be spontaneous and just go with the flow. Carpe Diem bitches!

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by datingsagame on May 27, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Dating, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fate, Love, Relationships, Sex, Women
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Posted by datingsagame on May 27, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/05/27/falling-hard-and-falling-fast/

Women and Being Comfortable in Their Own Skin

This is something that I honestly just can’t believe. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine (a girl that’s a friend) who is someone I absolutely consider a ten. She pretty much shattered a common myth I often associated with gorgeous girls. That they’re all conceited and into themselves. I know right? Stay with me here. She pretty much let me know that no girl will ever admit that they think they’re pretty. That every single girl thinks there’s something about themselves that could be better. A small bump on the nose, a few freckles here and there, all girls are not as cocky or confident as I originally thought.

VS

To be honest, there is nothing sexier to me than a girl who is confident. A girl who carries herself with a certain level of cockiness and sexiness is a huge turn on. As a guy, you want a girl who’s able to go out and feel comfortable in who she is. Who wants someone always looking for compliments or as I call them, pityments (pity compliments). My real problem here is what this girl said. She said that no girl will ever feel she’s perfect. My rebuttal? Where a girl see’s imperfections we see beauty. To me there is only beauty in uniqueness. I mean really there are no perfect people so when are we going to realize it’s what makes us different that makes us sexy?

Too me, all women are beautiful. I mean I’m sure a lot of men out there will agree with me. There’s something endearing and interesting about all women. We see it in them just like they see it in us. What is it about women that won’t let them recognize that in themselves? Confidence is key ladies. Guys want girls who aren’t afraid to take chances and even more so ones who are cocky enough in themselves that they know they look good. There’s not a bigger turn off then a girl who is begging for compliments to boost her self esteem.

So what’s the point to all of this? Whether you think you’re gorgeous or not, carry yourself in a manner you want to show people you don’t give a fuck what they think. Act as if you’re comfortable in your skin even if you’re not. You’re all beautiful. Just own it. I don’t think I’m the best looking guy in the world but I carry myself like I’m (insert hot male celebrity) no matter what. That’s the trick. Whether you feel it or not act as if you’re the shit. People will pick up on this confidence and like you more for it. Confidence is key. People never forget the first time they meet you so make it a good one!

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by datingsagame on May 17, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Image
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Posted by datingsagame on May 17, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/05/17/women-and-being-comfortable-in-their-own-skin/

Fishing for compliments:

Probably one of my biggest items on the to-don’t list. It’s pretty simple really and it all boils down to confidence. There’s no reason what so ever that while talking to a girl you are recently dating to fish at all for compliments. Don’t ask her if you were a good kisser, or if she thought you looked good the other night. Don’t ask her if she likes you shaved or with a beard, or your hair gelled or not. None of it really matters. I should rephrase that, it all really matters but it doesn’t enough for you to ask her opinion on those items.

Look, 9 times out of 10 a girl is going to give you her honest opinion of of you anyway. Sure it’s possible that you end up with that 1 for 10 girl but I highly doubt it. Girls will always tell you what they think about you in the hopes that you will tell them what you thought about them. It’s a fumble-rooski technique. Pretend you’re going one way, about face and head in the other direction. Believe me, girls want to know what you think about them so the way they can get you to open up about those things is by telling you, oh you’re a great kisser. Or hey last night was really fun. These things are designed to have you open up to her about what you thought about her.

Take it from me, the worst thing you can do is fish for compliments. What ends up happening is you alienate yourself and really look desperate. Have the confidence to know you looked good the other night, or that you are a fantastic kisser even if you might not be. The confidence you exude in these aspects will only make the girl want you more. The worst thing you can do is ask a girl if she thought you looked good or were a good kisser. It’s like omg, I am absolutely desperate for your approval so please tell me you like me.

NO. Be confident. This is vital. If you have any doubts ask someone else how you look before you go out. This is important. If you start showing signs of neediness or wanting for approval that early in dating I doubt very much things will last very long. So here’s the trick…be very honest and don’t ask her questions about you. Feel free to tell her you had a great time and she looked fantastic and whatever else you think might be important. Those are areas I say go for it. Otherwise keep your insecurities to yourself or with you and your shrink!

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by datingsagame on January 25, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Emotions, Image
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Posted by datingsagame on January 25, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/01/25/chapter-one-hundred-and-one/

Blind Dates:

I’ve only been on about 2 or 3 blind dates in my life but when you think about a blind date you can think about it as any first date really. While people often classify a blind date as being set up with a total stranger if you think about it when you ask a girl out for the first time whether you meet at the bar or the gym, that’s almost like a blind date. But I digress. I think blind dates are fun. It’s always interesting meeting new people and from time to time people tend to surprise you.

I’ve set up a couple friends while I was at college for girls I thought they’d get along with and each time they failed miserably. There are a couple things you need to know about first dates and blind dates. They’re very simple when you really think about it. First, be yourself and be honest. Don’t make shit up and definitely do not pretend to be something you are not. If you’re a quiet, sweet, caring person be that. Don’t be obnoxious and act differently, girls can read right through that.

Secondly, think before you speak. You can very easily come off as an ignorant moron if you just start talking with out actually considering what you are about to say. Take a second, pause, and think before you speak. Better to take an extra second then say something dumb. Trust me if you’re able to come off confident and charismatic it’ll go along way to securing yourself a second date. And at the end of the day, second dates are ultimately the goals of first dates.

So there you have it. Be confident. Go on blind dates. Have fun. Not necessarily in that order but something like that. With the worst thing that could happen being you don’t hit it off and she ends up just being some girl you went out with once, go for it and have fun. Be yourself and make sure to open up and HAVE FUN. I can’t stress that enough, girls will see through your nervousness and ultimately your bullshit. So sit back, relax and enjoy some blind date fun.

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by datingsagame on January 13, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating
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Posted by datingsagame on January 13, 2011

http://datingsagame.com/2011/01/13/chapter-ninety-seven/

Confidence:

I know I’ve talked about this numerous times but I thought today would be the perfect day to further discuss how confidence can either make or break a date. I have a good friend of mine we’ll call her Mary for arguments sake. Mary is beautiful. She thinks she’s ok looking but for the most part feels like she leaves a lot to be desired. Mary is hot. Guys hit on her all the time at the bar and she seldom knows how to react. Mary lacks confidence. It is because of this fundamental lack of self that I think will cause Mary to have an extremely hard time in finding a person to be in a relationship with her.

I get it, certain people have issues. And I’m not one to judge. I could lose a couple pounds, I could be taller, I could work out more. But none of that matters really because I am completely content with who I am and what I have to offer. Mary is not. Mary used to be a little bit heavy, she used to have bad acne. All of these things are in the past. What Mary needs to do is take this new found sex appeal and use it. She needs to buck up and really embrace the fact that she’s a good looking awesome person. If you have a lack of confidence you can consider yourself fucked in the dating world.

The second post I ever wrote was about confidence. Do you think that I feel like confidence is important? Take a look and tell me what you think. Confidence is key people. You have no idea! (http://www.datingsagame.com/2010/06/chapter-two.html) Without a bravado about yourself, without a certain swagger or charisma, you are handicapping yourself to fail when it comes to dating. Look I can preach all I want. It takes a lot to grow some balls and act confident and I’m not saying it’s easy. Try these few things and maybe you can start to locate your sack.

Ok, step one: Go buy some new clothes. Seriously. Go out grab some new shit and make sure you look good. Only buy things that you feel comfortable in and that you think you look good in. You know you have a ton of clothes in your closet that you’ll never wear because you’re afraid you look fat or ugly or blah blah blah. Fuck that, go buy some new shit for step one. Step two: Go on three dates with three different girls. I don’t care who they are or where they’re from. 3. It’s a magic number. Go out and test yourself. Try to be somebody different on each date. Try to form your personality to who you want to be and not who you currently are. (An otherwise shell of a human being).

Step Three: Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the following….FUCK IT. Truly whether things go good or bad is not necessarily up to you. What is up to you is how you deal with it. Sure we all go on bad dates and sure things don’t always go our way. It’s up to you to not sit at home and cry about it. Be confident that your next date will be better and the one after that will be better than the previous. Create a certain style and swagger about yourself that borderlines cockiness. Trust me being overly cocky for a little while may help you find a happy medium of confidence. It’s a hard thing being confident, try these tips out and see what happens. But at the end of the day be comfortable with who you are as a person. Good luck!

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by datingsagame on December 15, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating, Image, Women
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Posted by datingsagame on December 15, 2010

http://datingsagame.com/2010/12/15/chapter-ninety-three/

Dates, how many before you sleep with someone?

I got this question the other day and thought it would make for a perfect post. It’s one of those crazy difficult questions for dating. How long do you wait to put out or sleep with someone? Ask any guy and I’m sure he’ll say the first night. But let’s be realistic here for a second shall we? If I sleep with a girl the first time we go out I almost lose interest. I mean honestly, sex is great. But do I really think I’m going to develop something meaningful with a girl I fuck the first time we hang out? Most likely no. I digress.

I’ve heard people adhering to the 3 date rule. Or the 5 date rule. Or the 10 date rule. Look the bottom line is there is no rule to follow when it comes to sex and dating. When it’s right it’s right. You can’t plan it and you can’t hope for it. It just has to happen. If it’s not happening and you want it to maybe the person you’re dating isn’t interested or maybe she just is insecure. There’s plenty of reasons why sex does or doesn’t happen. Don’t sweat it. It’s like relationships, if it’s meant to be, it will be. If not then you’re fucked. Figuratively not literally.

I wish I could tell you to follow pattern x, y, or z to getting laid. There’s just no blueprint. If I knew one I’d tell ya, promise. Moral of the story is if it’s meant to be it will be. Just go with the flow. No sense in stressing yourself out about it. That will only make you crazy. If things are going well don’t hesitate to make the move. If things are going slow better to play it safe. Also can’t hurt to talk about these things. It’s almost 2011 people are a lot more sexually advanced now, so don’t be afraid to bring it up and talk about it.

I prefer the open and honest approach. If you want bang a girl, tell her. Psych just kidding. Don’t do that you will come off very creepy. But honestly, just go with the flow, good sex and relationships are spontaneous and just happen. You can’t plan these things you just gotta go with it.

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by datingsagame on December 6, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating, Fate, Sex
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by datingsagame on December 6, 2010

http://datingsagame.com/2010/12/06/chapter-ninety/

Special:

You ever lay in bed late at night and get this feeling like you’re important? Or that you’re just meant for something more? Ever meet someone in passing or spoken with someone once or twice and felt like they would have this profound impact in your life? I’ve felt that before. All of it. It’s a difficult thing to articulate and an even harder thing to explain without sounding like an egomaniac or a crazy person. What is it about these feelings that allow one person to feel something, and another to not?

I’ve met girls, nobody in particular that I always felt like if it weren’t for x,y, or z things could be magic between us. That, if she noticed something about me that she previously missed, or if I realized she’s more special than I previously thought, there could be something. It’s weird. It’s hard to explain. I always wondered what it is in life that helps you recognize your soulmate. Or not even soulmate but people in your life who are meant to be greatly important.

I’ve met a couple people in my life that I felt for one reason or another they were important. For one reason or another something inside me just felt like I needed to spend more time with them, get to know them better, or just be around them more. Maybe they’d provoke me, make me think about myself and get me to see who I am as a person better. Perhaps they could be someone I’d one day end up with, or maybe just a life long friend. Have you ever felt that? Have you ever felt a deep, underlying connection with a person? Something that went beyond physical attraction. Something that went past daily interactions?

I’m not sure. I know this one person in my life who I feel like has this vast potential to be great in anything he/she does, but they just don’t recognize it. They always get angry at me when I try to point out how amazing they are or how special I think they are. They always just circumvent everything I say and insist they are just nobody. That’s sad. What is it that gives me or anybody the ability to recognize someone else’s specialness and you have the inability not to? Life has a funny way of putting people together and bringing people together. Sometimes you have to take someone’s word for it to realize. Take a leap of faith, you never know what could happen.

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by datingsagame on November 24, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Chemistry, Emotions, Fate, Image
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Posted by datingsagame on November 24, 2010

http://datingsagame.com/2010/11/24/chapter-eighty-eight/

Insecurities:

I’m not trying to say we don’t all have them, because we do. but your own insecurities could seriously be hampering your ability to find someone who wants to be with you. I mean think about it…If you’re not comfortable with who you are as a person, who else is going to be? confidence is key. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and know that no matter what you’re comfortable with the outcome. I’ve met a lot of girls and guys for that matter who don’t have the confidence to even go up to a girl in a bar let alone ask someone for their number.

You have to put yourself out there. The fear of rejection is going to hurt you much more than any actual rejection ever will. I realize this is easier said than done, but when it comes down to it you have to be willing to fail in order to succeed. That goes for life, not just for dating. If you don’t go for it you will always be stuck in your same rut. If you don’t apply yourself you’ll never get anywhere. Confidence is a funny thing, sometimes you can come off as an arrogant, cocky prick. And sometimes with just the right amount of confidence you can come off as a stud.

I realize we’re not all super models. We all have things about our bodies, our looks, our personalities that we don’t like. But with the amount of time we spend nitpicking the parts of ourselves we don’t like, we could be thinking about all the great things about ourselves! For instance, I think I’m very funny. You may or may not agree, I really don’t care. That’s one part of my personality that I love. On a negative side I think sometimes I don’t care enough. I give off this I don’t give a fuck personality which is fine, but sometimes it comes off very standoffish or asshole like.

Now I could easily spend time contemplating how to make myself come off as less of an asshole, but I choose just to be funnier. Now granted, that’s probably not the best example but you see the point I’m trying to make. Self improvement starts at recognizing that we’re not all perfect. Once you realize that and you realize that everybody and yes I mean EVERYBODY has things about themselves they don’t like, you’ll be much better for it.

Moral of the story here folks, we all share insecurities. It’s a common thread and something everyone deals with. What you need to do is not dwell on these things about yourself that you don’t like, and look at the things about you that you do like. Take time to figure out what you want and what you’re looking for, and go for it. Go 100% and make sure you realize that you’re the most important person in your life. Forget about the things that you don’t like about yourself and be confident every day in everything you do.

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by datingsagame on November 21, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Image
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Posted by datingsagame on November 21, 2010

http://datingsagame.com/2010/11/21/chapter-eighty-six/

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