I just realized that I have no relationships what so ever with any girl I’ve ever seriously, or casually dated. What do you think that says about me? Once in a while you’ll meet a girl that has you second guessing everything about yourself when you meet her. She changes it all. But it seems like whenever you meet those game changers things never last too long. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together and yet almost simultaneously pulling them apart. Who you are as a person, is it something that’s predetermined when you’re born, or rather who you become over time? Who you become, and what you do with your life, is this something you can control? Or rather something that fate has just cruelly twisted together to make you continually second guessing yourself each step of the way?
Sometimes I find myself unable to imagine myself not being alone. That’s not to say that it’s what I want or would ever remotely want. But it’s something that can keep a guy up at night. You want to be the guy who gets the girl. The guy who meets a girl, falls madly in love and everything just clicks into place. Unfortunately that’s rare. I want to be the guy that gets the girl. Who wouldn’t? Sometimes you think you’ve found her and you have her and it just ends up that you’re only going to for a short while. Honestly, whatever happened to being HONEST. To telling someone exactly, how you feel, being completely up front and real. What happened to that? Why is it so much about playing games and all the incessant nonsense bullshit that goes along with it?
In life, fate only takes you so far, the rest my dear friends, is up to you. A lot of things in life boil down to chemistry and timing. It’s an easy cop out to say that everything happens for a reason even when I actually truly believe that. But in all honesty, it’s a scape goat. We say that to make ourselves feel better the day after we get dumped. Or after someone we know dies in a car accident. The simple fact of the matter is that life is messy, and not all people get a happy ending. Sometimes you can have your cake, you just don’t get to eat it. Sometimes fate plays tricks on you and gives you a glimmer of hope only to yank it away seconds later. I believe it’s possible in an instant to know you can’t spend your life without someone. But why so often are those same feelings not necessarily reciprocated?
Truthfully, dating is hard. Love is hard. Life IS hard. It’s hard on it’s own, you don’t need to be adding to it by trying to force things that aren’t there. When something is truly meant to be….It. Will. Be. Round pegs, don’t fit in square holes no matter how hard we force them in. A lot of times for me, it’s not whether I’ll meet the right girl or not, but rather if it’ll be the right time for both of us. Timing is everything in life. Seconds turn into minutes, that turn into hours, that turn into days. But when you really take a look at it, a minute here and there could be life altering for one person or any person for that matter.
So what am I trying to say here? Tough for me to decipher amongst these incessant ramblings. But I guess life is really tough. You get a lot of ups and you get a lot of downs. But when it comes down to it, trust yourself. Trust who you are as a person and what you want out of your life. If you get butterflies the first time you meet a guy then ask him out. If you kiss a girl and you feel a spark make sure you don’t let her get away. If you get the opportunity to kiss a beautiful girl, go for it. Life is short, you really don’t know how many chances you are going to have to make memories.
What I really think life is about is love. Love for your family. Love for your friends. And love for the people around you. It’s about finding love and keeping it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be lucky in love, but when you find something that feels right hold on to it. I will readily admit to letting good things in life pass me by. I will readily admit to being afraid to speak up and afraid to go for what I want. Those amount to some massive regrets in my life. But I’ve gotten so much better at that now. I’m no longer afraid to voice my feelings or opinions on what I want and what matters to me. And neither should you.
Life is what you make of it. Love is what you make of it. If you meet someone you can’t be with out, tell them that. It may hurt to be rejected but it will hurt a lot more to second guess yourself for 40-50 years. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Go for what you want for fucks sake! Nobody is going to give you anything in life. You have to earn it. If that means getting rejected fine, so what? If that means getting hurt, hey nobody said this was going to be easy. But at the end of the day, you want to be able to say I fucking went for it each and every day of my life and I am proud on how I lived.