Someone recently asked me what I thought the most important thing you need for a healthy relationship. I immediately replied love, but at a closer glance maybe it’s trust. So often I find people lying to themselves. Telling themselves that their significant other isn’t cheating. Or they’re not lying to them about where they’ve been. Or that deep down even though he hits me, he’s still a good guy. What is with us lying to ourselves repeatedly to shine a positive light on something that’s a heaping pile of shit? I sometimes wonder if it’s just in human nature to stick out a shitty situation for the hope that somehow, someway, things might change. But they don’t.
People don’t change. You’ve heard of it a thousand times, you’ve seen it a thousand times, but peoples actions speak volumes. If he cheats once, he’s going to cheat again. If he hits you once, he’s going to hit you again. If things are missing in a relationship, they are NEVER going to be there. Quite honestly you have to sit back and ask yourself what is it that you want out of your life. What is it that you want out of a relationship. It’s not an easy question. It’s something that I ask myself daily. I hope that you do as well. Nobody has all the answers. But eventually we stumble into the places we’re supposed to be with the people we’re supposed to be with. As I sit here typing this I wonder what tomorrow brings. That’s the beauty of life though. That no matter how shitty a day has been there is always a tomorrow.
Something I can’t quite put my finger on is why people will continue to stick out a shitty relationship. Why someone is willing to repeatedly tell themselves that things will change when they know they won’t. Why do we lie to ourselves and kid ourselves that things are going to be different tomorrow? Realistically speaking change does happen. But not without an extreme cause with an even greater effect. You don’t just wake up one day and say hey, I’m going to be completely different from here on out. What you really have to do is ask yourself, would you be willing to change something about yourself for them. You have to see if this person that is doing so wrong, and treating you so poorly, really worth your time.
This is a really tough decision to make. Ultimately, there’s no right move. You stay you’re fucked. You leave you perceive yourself as fucked. Truthfully the fact is life falls somewhere in the middle. For a short while yea you’ll be miserable. For a long time you might be alone. But at the end of the day you have to put yourself in the best position for you to be happy in your life. Nobody is going to do that for you. And if you have found someone who’s willing to go the extra mile to make you happy. Well then I think we all know you’ve found yourself a keeper.
